Cheryl Cole Gives Ashley Her Rules Of The Game

Let´s have a heated debate about Cheryl Cole, wife to Ashley Cole.

The Star says Cheryl wants to speak with Aimee Walton, the hairdresser who claims to have slept with the vomitous footballer.

Chances are any meeting will be captured on a camera phone.

Cheryl may also care to meet with Brooke Healey, a glamour model, who tells the Sun of Ashley: “He said he didn’t do protection and not to worry because everything would be cool…Luckily I didn’t get pregnant - but for weeks I was worried I might be.”

Cheryl may care to meet with both women and in Cheryl Cole Meets… invite fans to suggest questions via a website. The three can then talk about how none of them have been impregnated by Cole and if athletic support wear is safe.

Rules Of Engagement

Over in the Mirror, readers learn of Cheryl’s “five rules for cheating Ashley”. No, not that Ashley must not get caught, although that may well be the Golden Rule.

CASHLEY MUST:
1. “Produce at least one romantic gesture every fortnight” – and if he can produce camera phone footage as proof, so much the better

2. Spend more ‘quality time’ with me – and less time on the computer and his PlayStation” – euphemisms, perhaps, for Walton and Healey, although in which order is uncertain

3. Stay away from your male friend – or anyone likely to lead you astray” - Ashley Cole is as straight as they come

4. Keep in constant contact so I can keep track on where you are” – A satnav device implanted into Ashley’s jockstrap will suffice

5. Avoid alcohol and big nights out for the next two months” – Detox
But the Mirror’s Polly Hudson has just one rule: “Don’t let me down, Cherly..ditch him.”

This is Polly’s “URGENT MESSAGE FOR MRS COLE”. She concludes her editorial: “Take a deep breath, be brave and show that disloyal loser the door. Make us all proud again. Please.”

Via anorak.co.uk